Sometimes it takes a village....but I prefer gasoline

This as been a tough season for me and for a lot of people I love dearly. Life never gets easier the older you get, just more complicated. But no mater how stressful things are, if we can get past those toughest moments, when we look back from the other side, it's amazing to see just how far we've come. 

Sometimes a controlled burn is needed to choke out the weeds and unwanted or invasive vegetation in order to allow room for the desirables to grow. I've come to learn, in the short time I've been here since I'm so young and stuff, that our hears and minds also sometimes need a "controlled burn" in order to wipe out negative thoughts, bitterness, frustration, fear, passivity...pretty much anything that will keep us from growing into exactly who and what God has called us to be, especially those really invasive things. The ones that bleed out into all areas of our lives and force us off the path God has purposed for us.

In case you haven't heard I LOVE to play with fire. Just ask my parents who, on more than one occasion when I was little, found evidence under my bed that I had been playing with matches. I was either really good at playing with matches, or God had his hand of protection on me because in hindsight that was about the easiest way to burn down a house! Below is a picture of a Hildreth fire where we burned all the weeds & tree limbs I had ripped out of the yard, along with some furniture and who knows what else. It turns out that gasoline not only makes for a spectacular show,  but it also melts styrofoam and isn't the safest accelerant to use when in the hands of the foolish, which got me thinking recently.....The Holy Spirit is like an accelerant and is foolproof. Sometimes there are things in our lives that we struggle with for so long, but just a little bit of the Holy Spirit can completely eradicate and burn them up so that those ashes can fertilize and enrich the soil for new growth. 

There is a time and a season for a Holy Spirit controlled burn, and that season starts any time you ask God to reveal those weak invasive areas, all you have to do is strike the match and ask the Holy Spirit to douse the flame. 

Nanners

Why be discontent when u can have strawberries & cherry coke?

First I'd like to start off by saying Happy Valentines Date! 

And no I didn't mistype, I meant it. February 14th, V-date: that one day of the year that only those with a "date" really get to celebrate and experience all its magicalness,while the rest of us spectate. Let's face it, many of those who aren't single also end up spectators for one reason or another. As a little kid Valentines day is right up there with Halloween and Christmas, you get lots of candy and presents!!?? And then as you get older, when your parents stop making you give that weird kid in the class a valentine, is right about when the reality of rejection sets in. Whether you 're the reject-or or the reject-ee, feelings get hurt. And so starts the vicious cycle of V-date, will or won't you have a valentine this year? 

Yesterday a dozen roses were delivered at my office to Rachel (my fantabulous coworker) from her doting hubby, awe...that's so sweet. Today I walked into the office and I did NOT have a dozen roses waiting for me, but who the heck cares. I have my trusty Cherry Coke and what do you know...a coworker brought in chocolate covered strawberries to share with everyone! The only thing better than a chocolate covered strawberry is a plain ripe strawberry, they have/always will be my all time fav edible anything. 

This is turning out to be a great day,  for me anyway, because then my manager stops by my desk with a little carnation flower and Rudy's breakfast taco .....are you kidding me? First dessert and now breakfast?? But more importantly...my manager just went out and bought breakfast with his own money for all the ladies at the office, even though they aren't in his department, and he's never done that. So I start thinking.....what if, just maybe, we take back V-date and instead of it being a day to meditate on romantic love or a lack there of, we make Feb 14th, G-date, and celebrate God's pure, steady, unrelenting, and unconditional love instead? That we go out of our way to share His love with all those around us, to make them feel just as special as God makes us feel? Do me a favor, close your eyes and think about it, picture it in your mind, imagine yourself do just that, imagine others doing that for you, how would that make you feel? Now open your eyes and think about what your actual plans are today and compare the two.....which one is better? 

I am one of the many V-dateless today, but I'm not going to be discontent about it and it certainly doesn't mean I'm any less loved. Did I mention that today I unexpectedly got a strawberry, my fav, and that my manager did the unexpected and bought breakfast? God knows my heart and that I'm not one to dwell on what I don't have and instead take joy in all I do, and even-though I am content, God isn't. He wants much more for me, His plans are so much bigger, broader, He wants the unexpected for me. He's changed my day from V-dateless to G-datefull! And in doing so has stirred my heart and filled it with an unexpected love for others.  

Don't live discontent, live unexpected! Now if you excuse me, my Rudy's breakfast taco is getting cold. 

Nanners

Do you love me enough?

     I'm hesitant to say that many of us know love. The truth is that I just don't think we do... maybe a handfull, maybe a small percentage of the overwhelming whole of a generation that is most entirely focused on selfish ambition and prosperity. "The American Dream." What a lie, what a cunning,coniving, horrible deception. The lie that we DESERVE 2nd, 3rd, and 87th chances.  The lie that we are owed something good in this dark and deeply unfair world. Woe is me...

...how ridiculous.

   Sweet Jesus, precious Lord, how far we have wondered from the love of your rebuke and correction.  Your LOVING discipline.

    When did we come to the conclusion that consequences were  unjust?

     I suppose the truth is, it has been since the very beginning, since the first bite of prideful ambitiousness, the downward spiral. The desire, not to be LIKE the God of creation but to be so arrogant as to think us his equal. And yet my God, you granted mercy through another opportunity to get it right. But never again did we enter the garden. And there was pain in labor both in the multiplying of the earth and the working of it's produce for sustenance. The Lord loved us enough to let us go and make the choice for ourselves...and we got it wrong again, when Cain killed his brother there were consequences... there was more seperation and yet... more opportunity, but, we had taken another step away from the God of love.  Then, later still, the Lord saw how evil and dark the heart of man had become, and with the exception of one man and his family and some more of the living creation, he wiped them out. The Lord is just to discipline and correct and he does not tolerate unrepenant sin for long.
     The people had become so far removed from The God of love... but, he came back to give more opportunity because he LOVED us so, he promised never to flood the earth again... he re-established the connection with Abraham. He began the birthing of a nation unto the Lord, that would fear and love and obey.  But the nation of Israel grumbled against the lord and turned their backs and hardened their hearts over and over. The Father saved them from slavery, preformed miracle after glorious miracle, provided food and drink and shelter and FREEDOM.  If only Israel had the eyes to see, but they blinded themselves with the shining idols of the world.  Lord, you gave them consequences, affliction! You wanted to teach them to return to what was good, what was best for them. What a long history of foolishness.
      Isaiah 30 says that Israel asked the phrophets to stop confronting them with the Holy one of Israel, they didn't want the word of The Lord, they said no more visions, no more phrophesies of what is right, it says they relied on deception and darkness, that they relied on oppression, but The Lord said this deception would not last  in verse 13 it says ..." this sin will become for you like a high wall, cracked and bulging, that collapses suddenly , in an instant.  14: It will break in pieces like pottery shattered so mercilessly that among it's pieces not a fragment will be found for taking coals from a hearth or scooping water out of a cistern." The Lord does not threaten, this was a promise of consequences for their actions, for their rebellion,
... and yet God still wanted for Israel to return...even in his harshness he's trying to show them and teach them his love, the love they've been too dense to see...
 vs 15: This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel says:  "In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, BUT YOU WOULD HAVE NONE OF IT.

... how thick can we get.

but in vs 18 God provides yet ANOTHER opportunity... Lord, you are gracious.
18: yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you: he rises to show you compassion.  For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him! 19: Oh people of Zion, who live in Jerusalem, you will weep no more.  How gracious he will be when you cry for help! 20:Although the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, your teachers will be hidden no more; with your own eyes you will see them. 21: Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you , saying "this is the way, walk in it."  22: Then you will defile your idols overlaid with silver and your images covered with gold; you will throw them away like a menstrual cloth and say to them, "away with you!"

... pretty graphic imagery.

     It goes on to talk about how the Lord will fight for Israel against her enemies... painting violent and powerful pictures of the Lord and more of his justice... his breath like a rushing torrent. Just his name comes from afar with burning anger and dense clouds of smoke! He shakes the nations! He will cause men to hear his majestic voice and will make them see his arm coming down in RAGING ANGER.
   
     Who else would fight for us like this?

But something interesting happens just before this.

In verse 26 it talks about all the amazingness of his love when Israel finally comes and repents and it says... how amazing it will be when...
... the Lord binds up the bruises of his people and heals the wounds HE inflicted.

Wow.

So... when did this idea come about that all God wanted to do was let us eat butterflies... and poop rainbows? When did that became the gospel truth?

Proverbs 13:24 ... He who spares the rod HATES his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.

   The loving,living God is careful to discipline his children... if only we will have ears to hear.
   Thank you Jesus.   ~Raur

Sticking Together

I miss my friends. 

Most of my best friends have moved. It's really starting to hit me. Then we started a group text and out of it came this blog. And then, I created this awesome mug and sent one to each of them. It's awesome. Every time I use it I feel closer to them. Friend come and go but there are those ones that will stick together.
These are my girls. We all have this sweet mug. And I love it.

We all lived in this one house with the ugliest pink tub ever. If i could go back I would have taken the time to enjoy every good and crazy moment instead of rushing towards the future. Something I need to learn, to enjoy the moment instead of hoping for the next or drowning it in TV.
I love you Pink Tub Ladies. :)
- Murrey

Plans? What Plans? I threw those out the window...

Sometimes the plans we have set before us change and are outside our control or understanding. Not only does our own free will directs our lives, but the free will of others has an impact on us as well. But no mater what, God's plan for us still stands firm. I know from personal experience to keep pushing forward and not let anything or anyone take away opportunities for you to work in the talents and gifting's that God has given and called you to. 

I've had one serious relationship in my life which ended the day before Easter Sunday a number of years back, and I had to face that person and run their sound that Easter Sunday and every Sunday am & pm after that for more than 6 months or so after up until he quit coming altogether. It was the hardest and most uncomfortable thing I've ever had to do because of all the surrounding circumstances. But, I pressed in and focused on who God wanted me to be and found joy in thinking of the amazing things He was going to do with all my pain. I set aside one year from that Easter to let God work on my heart to heal it and grow closer, and that was the best year of my entire life. It was hard and I cried a lot, but I never lost sight of who God was and in turn He brought some amazing people in my life who are still with me (my pink tub gals). Then after that one year I moved to Texas to start the next phase of my divinely appointed journey. 

My life hasn't gone according to any plan that I has set out for myself; but I'm blessed beyond measure by friends and family and the doors that God has opened since that day, doors that may have never opened otherwise. One of those doors is leading worship, something that wasn't likely to happen had I stayed in Arkansas. I'm at a church that recognized something I saw in myself, but never had the courage to pursuit because I don't play an instrument and (i feel anyway) my stage presence sucks. God gave me a voice and it wasn't meant to hide in a choir or up in a sound booth. There is a passion, drive, push inside that is hard to contain for a reason. It's bursting to get out and do what it was purposed, crafted, EXPERTLY designed to do. 

I'm sharing my experience to testify that God is in control and His plans are bigger/better than anything we are able to see in that moment. I threw my plans out the window long ago, they were holding me back, and I encourage you to do the same, unless you want to end up in kitten jail like Leaver here....

This message was brought to you by Nanners via Proverbs 19:21
"Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails."

R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

R.E.S.P.E.C.T. ... it's whatchoo want....

... God is speaking to me about the authorities in my life lately.  ughhh. I've been in 1st peter for about a month... just chewing on it.
    I thought that after I "grew up", got married, and became independent that I would be the authority... I guess in all honesty I didn't really THINK much about anything and just  brainlesly...subconciously expected that the time would come when all of these things: parents, teachers, bosses....presidents... would pass away...HA!   ...and I would become ...
ULTIMATE QUEEN: RULER OF THE UNIVERSE!
... that worked out real well...

 The reality is that nothing has changed... except ... with the Lord's help, my perspective.

I still have teachers, Peter, Paul, John, ... JESUS... the heavenly father who EXPECTS  not requests ..that I obey.  I still have bosses, who, no matter how inept or unfair I may have occasion to think them, are still my bosses and it's my job to OBEY.  I have a husband who, out of love and kindness, tries not to demand...but the word says he is my authority he is my protection, my covering, and that I am to submit. HECK! I still have to respect my mother, when I come into her home to be with family and leave my dear mosby in the kitchen to calm her fear of dog pee catastrophy... even though he's trained.

     But what about me? Hmmm... that's the question I keep having to fight. I realized that this was the question behind the rebellion.
 It's not about me.
Do I squash MY desires for respect and love because I must do this for everyone else?...no
But I continue to obey even when I do not recieve the same in return. 
I trust the Lord that he is sufficient... and when I  feel disrespected ...which leads to feeling unloved... which leads to feeling worthless...I remember that he loves me when the people in this world do not know how to love me or respect me, because I am of GREAT worth to him.

So, when I picture myself with my supreme ruler tiara, and sceptor made of twizzlers and reses cups with my awesomely, epic queen outfit with matching shoes, perched atop the faces of my accusers and disrespectors, (? Is that even a word?)  ... when I picture this, and start brewing contempt in my heart...

I will ask forgiveness... I will remember the truth of the word... that the Lord is sufficient. And I will obey.
             
                                                                                                                              ~ Raur

1st Peter Ch. 2:17  
Show proper respect to everyone: Love the brotherhood of believers, fear God, honor the King.

Good to the Last Drop

Coffee.

I has changed my life. It sounds funny to say that a little brown bean could do such a thing, but it has. Here follows is my love story with coffee.

I was about 21 when Starbucks came to my town. I felt like we were a fancy city or something. I never drank coffee before and even then preferred it diluted with milk and sugar and whatever delicious things could be added to drown the bitter taste.  I wasn't the only person who thought Starbucks was awesome, slowly but surely I'd show up on an evening with nothing to do and meet a friend. They would invite other friends who invited other friends. My friend circle began to grow.  I remember meeting Shorts for a moment at church but then again seeing her working at Starbucks, that's how we became friends. I'd come in, chat with her and she ended up being friends with all of us who walked in the door.

She made the best cup of coffee. As our friendship grew I would go stay the night with her only to be awakened by the PERFECT cup of coffee in the cutest pink mug. Hazelnut creamer. Makes my mouth water at the thought. She was able to blend it with the coffee to perfection. Not to sweet, not too bitter.  I liked her coffee the best. As we grew as friends sharing stories and tears, another friend came my way via Starbucks. She was a bright blue eyed girl. Always bubbly and exciting. I'll call her Danger. We talked about our futures and decided we should be roomies. 1 house later we moved in. We added Raur who, like the rest of my friends, seemed to have come by the way of those late night Starbucks hangouts. Then, came Hanner. Oh yes, Starbucks again.

Coffee changed my life forever and so did these friends. Still now, I feel strong emotions when I see someone holding a warm mug or smelling the bitter brew. I still like my coffee sweet but the friends I have are even sweeter. It's funny how small things can change our world. I would never have thought a coffee shop would have left such an impression on me. Who would have known that at that time I would have made the friends I have now. God is mysterious, and I think he like coffee. After all, it's good to the last drop.

xxo -MURREY