Several years ago I lived in a house with a pink tub... to tell you the truth... I don't remember who initially asked the question first... "How long has this tub been pink?!" My first thought is that it was me... i'm miraculously unobservant. It's a gift. On that note, we come to the topic of my post. Awareness... I have none...
A couple of weeks ago my dog, bless his puppy heart, alerted me to the presence of a strange man approaching our personal bubble at an alarming rate outside my apartment complex at about ten at night. I didn't process what was happening until my dog's hair was standing up on the back of his neck and the guttural growl came loose from between his precious, protective, pointy teeth. But, it was not then that I began to wonder if maybe my perpetual state of unawareness could be a major hazard to my well being, although I did resolve from that point to stay within close range of my own apartment when taking Mosby to relieve himself after dark.
I did not begin to wonder, when about a week later a man came ripping into the parking lot of that same complex in his little blue truck, following ME and my dog to tell me that he'd become very frustrated with all the "crap" he'd stepped in or ran over with his lawn mower in the empty lot next door, (as he is the keeper of those grounds) and while he knew it was not ALL me and my dear Mosby, he said "I just wanted to let YOU know." My conscience worked overtime for about an hour or two after that... and not enough to go and do anything that moment... and then it got tired. Mosby and I have not been over there since then... but I also haven't relayed the message to my neighbor who also takes his dog for walks in that direction, and still was not able to consider how my unawareness may affect OTHER people and not just myself.
No, I did not begin to wonder the other day when i left the dishes out for my husband to clean up, or folded the laundry but didn't finish putting it up how that might make him feel after a long day at work, or back in the day, the times my mom asked me to please help her with the dishes and to clean my room, and realizing years later that no one else did either and she just wanted a little bit of help, or later when I moved out on my own, the 6 or 70 puppies I brought home to live, worms and all, with my lovely roommates in the Hildreth house with the pink tub and the bazillion doors, just because I wanted something to cuddle and exercise my freedom as an adult with my own home to take such liberties as my very own wormy pet. which I never took to the vet because I knew it would work itself out.
I did, however, begin to get an inkling earlier today when in the left hand turning lane to the local library I look to my left and see a man standing outside my window in the middle of the raging traffic of the busiest road of my city. I rolled down my window a crack, wondering what was about to happen. Was he going to pull out a gun? Was he a crazy homeless man asking to clean my windows in the middle of rush hour traffic? Maybe this white, mustached man, with the receding hair line was a ...tourist? from... Zimbabwe? needing directions?
"Did you know?", he said. "Did you know that you just ran me into on coming traffic? If I hadn't swerved to miss you we would have been in a serious wreck just now."
....silence...horror... shame....
... he proceeded to mention how swerving to miss me could have meant being hit himself by oncoming traffic... which only then did I look into my rear view mirror and see the odd angle of his vehicle half way in the oncoming traffic and less then 2 inches from the back of my own. My weak and barely audible reply was, "No Sir," gulp, "I didn't see you, I am SO sorry." As he walked away, I thanked the Lord for his protection, and followed the little green arrow telling me it was time to turn.
What is my PROBLEM?! Should I take this time to mention that I had just left from the district court to show my proof of insurance after having been pulled over for speeding the week before. I didn't get a ticket for speeding because the officer was gracious enough to believe me when I told him that I thought I had been within the limits, not having seen the signs change when I turned from one street to the next. Not realizing that I hadn't received my updated insurance card, I fumbled around through my glove compartment trying to find the appropriate documentation... maybe he felt sorry for me, looking like such a ridiculous, discombobulated idiot. I remember after pulling away, heading off to work again, now late...again... looking in the mirror to check my reflection. My hair was in it's usual sloppy ponytail, I hadn't had time to dry it or put make-up on... there was mascara that hadn't completely wiped off from my shower smudged under my eyes, and my nose ring was turned so the cork screw end was pointing out of my nostril.
... No wonder the cop had a goofy grin on the entire time he was citing me for failure to carry proof of insurance... I can't say that I blame him for thinking it funny.
I think that God is trying to tell me something... I think I'm going to try and listen. Today I see the gentleness in his spirit. He could have grabbed my attention with allowing kidnapping, speeding tickets, and traffic wrecks galore. His grace is overwhelming.
.... in summation... we may not know how long the tub has been pink.... but we know it now... and we will not forget.
~ Raur
No comments:
Post a Comment